Went my Godfather's house last night to fix his PC now I'm in good witht the family again. I know isn't it cool! No really I did!
More wacked out stuff on that facist march that happened this weekend can be found here What a bunch of sheep! I bet half thought they were marching against the war! DUMBASSES!
Kevin really will be free this week. Kevin Mitnick is probably the world's most famous hacker. He comes off of probation this week.
This is cool...it's a bunch of old 80s commercials.
How to tell if your co-worker is an alien... 10 step guide
Ok I'd say this is a major f-up! This woman went in for ankle surgery and woke up with both her breast removed. Oh I'm sorry there was a paperwork mix up! Holy Crap!
Scientist are baffled at why this 1/2 mile spot in the middle of this lake won't freeze over... it's a big mystery
I had a greeeeeeaaaaat weekend! Went to see Carrot Top on Saturday night and laughed so hard I almost lost my voice! That man is to funny! Great weather nothing stressful what a great weekend!
In the WTF is that category! Icon Wars! it would be better if it were in english but I bet you get it just the same.
I gotta tell you, I don't really espose on politics that much, but I do like to follow the major stuff... this site has pictures from and anti-war protest... some people are just unbelievable! One sign says "The difference between Bush and Saddam is that Saddam was elected." Yep EVERY single person in Iraq voted for Saddam. I beieve that! go see the rest... some people!
Zippo Tricks has a bunch of people on video doing impossible things with Zippo lighters. I don't smoke but it makes me want to get a light and have a go!
Seeing the Zippo page made me remember how much I always wanted to learn to spin a pen! Damn it! Still can't do it!
My friend P sent me this link ... at first I thought it was fake...
I have GOT TO GET ME ONE OF THESE! I wonder how the strokes are... that is freakin v.cool! Just look at that night shot! DAMN!
Tiny bit of eye candy...e-motion I like the looks of the site... not the content per say just the feel it gives you...
Ok... real quick bonus bloggy...
In order to market MTV to Latin America, Miami- and Buenos Aries-based agency la comunidad set out to position the station as one of those great life-changing experiences with its "I watched MTV once" tag, to bizarre, disturbing and hilarious ends.
FUNNY! Baby
See them all here.
Damn funny! Britney and Porno!
Two times in 24 hours I was asked about an install of Kazaa so here we go...
Kazaa is BAD BAD BAD BAD BAD!!!! If you are running Kazaa please read the following.
I am reluctant to even tell you this but it's worse for me to stand by and watch these things perpetuate across the internet, DO THESE THINGS AT YOUR OWN RISK, I am only trying to educate the masses here! Verify what I am saying for yourself before you go messin up your computer. I would say it is worse to just stand by so here it goes...
First Uninstall Kazaa... Kazaa has this network thing that you agreed to when you installed the software! that will allow them to use your computer as thier own little private network and have access to all files on you machine. You machine could also be used in a distributed computing exercise. Read for yourself here now if that's not bad enough... this article states "well now Kazaa, Morpheus and LimeWire are sneaking ... if you buy a CD from an affiliate of Amazon.com, say some charity, the software fools Amazon into crediting the commission to Morpheus[Kazaa], not the charity!"
There's more but you can read that stuff for yourself ... go to http://www.slashdot.org/ and type Kazaa in the search... be prepared there is alot of info here...most of not favorable for leaving this installed on your machine.
Ok you've uninstalled Kazaa next install Ad-Aware and see how many spyware/adware things you have on your system remove what you can... be careful this will make some things not work! Alot of things rely on the ad software being on your machine, you should just be aware of it being there. Again if you remove everything it will break some programs. Do the research before you go willy nilly removing ad/spyware.
Next install KaZaa lite. No Spyware! No Adware! ahhh p2p much mo' better!
Finally go to http://fasttrackmovies.com/ and have a clickfest! Read the forums... watch out for those fake files and enjoy. When clicking on a sig2dat file here it will not appear until you shut down and restart Kazaalite. You do not even have to have Kazaalite running to click away. Once you start Kazaalite after clicking all the sig2dats you want everything will appear queued up in the transfers. Sometimes they need a kickstart however... just do a find more sources... that will get it going.
Now on to more fun things... This guy scanned a vinyl record with is scanner and was able to extract the music from the image! Now that is kinda cool!
Selling your computer stuff on eBay? Careful now... Discarded computer hard drives prove a trove of personal info. Some guys bought a bunch of used hard drives on eBay and then data mined tons of personal info from them... credit card numbers, love letters and medical info... plus more they are not telling about!
Remember the Speak and Spell? Well someone had a good time hacking it into a... um... just go see it! Wow! Be sure and click the photos so you can see the extent of the madness!
Need an online game to kill some time... have a play of this. Fun!
Another one there is A pocket full of stars ... have the lot!
Another day, another day. Ok people it was not me at the Ryan's! I had someone call me last night about to pee on himself wondering why I had never told them that story before! Not me... just internet jokedom legend.
Is Bush mad? See what Europe thinks. I think they would change their minds if someone bombed the crap out of them with a nuke! Namely Saddam...
You need a flurry of Bad Assed sites don't you! Killer Spin Table Tennis at it's finest... this site rocks! Beautiful to look at even if you don't care for the subject matter.
All Media Solutions great and I mean great intros! I spent more than a minute here looking around. WOW!
Ok folks, I'm reluctant to even do this but... this site is SO BAD ASS that I have to.
WARNING THIS SITE KILLED MY NETSCAPE BROWSER! Who'sWe... there is so much Eyecandy here I don't even feel worthy of making websites anymore.
Wow this was a cool weekend! Angie was off on Friday so we went to Kemah for lunch... no crowds! How cooL! Friday was a great prop day for me too... I got one of THE props I have been after for some time now, an Abner Jones (Indiana's father) grail diary. You know the one that is the key piece of "The Last Crusade" anyway it got me to looking at the Indy sites so Friday night I popped in "Raider of the Lost Ark" and watched it ... that movie is just bad ass! I so want a bullwhip now!
Anwyay... Saturday we went to eat with R and P at Carabbas mmmm Manicoti! ... and Sunday I did some slightly illegal things I will not talk about :) but it was v.cool!
Another Best of CES... Adobe Photoshop Album looks good (watch the demo movie) and comes from Adobe! I think this may replace Acdsee!
Finally this Media Play from Prismiq looks pretty neat. It will distribute your media (MPG,MP3 etc.) around the house without a computer... looks neat on the surface, but we've seen people attempt this before.
you know how all the shows that used to show the future would show a device that you just push a button and whatever you wanted would come out... like a phone or food... well guess what! it might really be possible! Incredible!
This school has decided that in order for the poor kids to not be embarrased by getting lunch for free all kids will pay by retinal eye scans.
Most of you won't take the time but you really should read the following...
Notice that the bill starts at $100 and there are 10 men, that means 40%(4 men) of wage earners in the US pay nothing! and the top 10%(1 man) pay 59% or the taxes(the food bill)! For a point of reference your family needs to make $94,000 between you to be in the top 10%...
William Gibson the father of the cyber* though/movement/energy/everything and author has his own blog now. I know this will not appeal to the masses of you, but for some of us it is big!
There is another new browser in town... Safari! ... to bad it's only for MAc users, it looks pretty damn good!
Sticking with the Apple theme... it's about time! I've been wanting one of these backlit keyboards to come along forever... I had even thought of making my own at one point! There are some clever folks out there at Apple... now the rest of the world can rip off the idea...
Check this out! This guy is making a camera from photgraphic paper, the using a pinhole he takes a picture and then unfolds the camera and develops the image!
What would happen if you slapped a few stamps on a coconut and dropped it in a mailbox? Would it come? What about a dead fish in a box or $20 bill in a clear envelope? Whould they deliver them? Find out for yourself.
Do you know if you colorblind or not... the first 3 or 4 were easy but I had to look at the last one for bit before I got it! Take the test
Do you have an idea that you think others might be able to solve? Post it at http://www.lazyweb.org/
had enough...i.have.not
every once in awhile I get a request to hear the Ryan's story again... well I'm going to post here in my blog for posterity...
The Ryan's Story
A couple of weeks ago we decided to cruise out to Ryan's Steakhouse for dinner. It was a Wednesday night which means that macaroni and beef was on the hot bar, indeed the only night of the week that it is served. Wednesday night is also kid's night at Ryan's, complete with Dizzy the Clown wandering from table to table entertaining the little bastards.
It may seem that the events about to be told have little connection to those two circumstances, but all will be clear in a moment.
We went through the line and placed our orders for the all-you-can-eat hot bar then sat down as far away from the front of the restaurant as possible in order to keep the density of kids down a bit. Then I started my move to the hot bar. Plate after plate of macaroni and beef were consumed that evening, I tell you -- in all, four heaping plates of the pseudo-Italian ambrosia were shoved into my belly. I was sated. Perhaps a bit too much, however.
I had not really been feeling well all day, what with a bit of gas and such. By the time I had eaten four overwhelmed plates of food, I was in real trouble. There was so much pressure on my diaphragm that I was having trouble breathing. At the same time, the downward pressure was building. At first, I thought it was only gas which could have been passed in batches right at the table without to much concern.
Unfortunately, that was not to be. After a minute or so it was clear that I was dealing with explosive diarrhea. It's amazing how grease can make its way through your intestines far faster than the food which spawned the grease to begin with, but I digress...
Entering, I saw two sinks immediately inside the door, two urinals just to the right of the sinks, and two toilet stalls against the back wall. One of them was a handicapped bathroom. Now, normally I would have gone to the handicapped stall since I like to stretch out a bit when I take a good shit, but in this case, the door lock was broken and the only thing I hate worse than my wife telling me to stop cutting my toenails with a pair of diagonal wire cutters is having someone walk in on me while I am taking a shit. I went to the normal stall. In retrospect, I probably should have gone to the large, handicapped stall even though the door would not lock because that bit of time lost in making the stall switch proved to be a bit too long under the circumstances. By the time I had walked into the regular stall, the pressure on my ass was reaching Biblical proportions. I began "The Move."
For those women who may be reading this, let me take a moment to explain. "The Move." Men know exactly what their bowels are up to at any given second. And when the time comes to empty the cache, a sequence of physiological events occur that can not be stopped under any circumstances. There is a move men make that involves simultaneously approaching the toilet, beginning the body turn to position ones ass toward said toilet, hooking ones fingers into ones waistline, and pulling down the pants while beginning the squat at the same time. It is a very fluid motion that, when performed properly, results in the flawless expulsion of shit at the exact same second that ones ass is properly placed on the toilet seat. Done properly, it even assures that the choad is properly inserted into the front rim of the toilet in the event that the piss stream lets loose at the same time; it is truly a picture of coordination rivaling that of a ballet dancer.
I was about half-way into "The Move" when I looked down at the floor and saw a pile of vomit that had been previously expelled by one of those little bastards attending kids night; it was mounded up in the corner so I did not notice it when I had first walked into the stall. Normally, I would not have been bothered by such a thing, but I had eaten so much and the pressure upward was so intense, that I hit a rarely experienced gag reflex. And once that reflex started, combined with the intense pressure upward caused by the bloated stomach, four plates of macaroni and beef started coming up for a rematch. What happened next was so quick that the exact sequence of events are a bit fuzzy, but I will try to reconstruct them as best I can.
In that moment of impending projectile vomiting, my attention was diverted from the goings-on at the other end. To put a freeze frame on the situation, I was half crouched down to the toilet, pants pulled down to my knees, with a load of vomit coming up my esophagus. Now, most of you know that vomiting takes precedence over shit no matter what is about to come slamming out of your ass. It is apparently an evolutionary thing since shitting will not kill you, but vomiting takes a presence of mind to accomplish so that you do not aspirate any food into the bronchial tubes and perhaps choke to death. My attention was thus diverted. At that very split second, my ass exploded in what can only be described as a wake...you know, as in a newspaper headline along the lines of "30,000 Killed In wake of Typhoon Fifi" or something similar. In what seemed to be most suitably measured in cubic feet, an enormous plug of shit the consistency of thick mud with embedded pockets of greasy liquid came flying out of my ass. But remember, I was only half-way down on the toilet at that moment. The shit wave was of such force and of just such an angle in relation to the back curve of the toilet seat that it ricocheted off the back of the seat and slammed into the wall at an angle of incidence equal to the angle at which it initially hit the toilet seat. Then I sat down. Recall that when that event occurred, I was already half-way to sitting anyway and had actually reached the point of no return. I have always considered myself as relatively stable gravitationally, but when you get beyond a certain point, you're going down no matter how limber you may be. Needless to say, the shit wave, though of considerable force, was not so sufficient so as to completely glance off the toilet seat and deposit itself on the walls, unlike what you would see when hitting a puddle with a high-pressure water hose; even though you throw water at the puddle, the puddle gets moved and no water is left to re-form a puddle. There was a significant amount of shit remaining on about one third of the seat rim which I had now just collapsed upon. Now, back to the vomit...
While all the shitting was going on, the vomit was still on its way up. By the time I had actually collapsed on the toilet, my mouth had filled up with a goodly portion of the macaroni and beef I had just consumed. OK, so what does the human body instinctively do when vomiting? One bends over. So I bent over. I was still sitting on the toilet, though.Therefore, bending over resulted in me placing my head above my now slightly opened legs, positioned in between my knees and waist. Also directly above my pants which were now pulled down to a point just midway between my knees and my ankles. Oh, did I mention that I was wearing not just pants, but sweat pants with elastic on the ankles. In one mighty push, some three pounds of macaroni and beef, two or three Cokes, and a couple of Big, Fat Yeast Rolls were deposited in my pants...on the inside...with no ready exit at the bottom down by my feet.
In the next several seconds, there were a handful of farts, a couple of turds, and the event ended, yet I was now sitting there with my pants full of vomit, my back covered in shit that had bounced off the toilet, spattered on three ceramic tiled walls to a height of about five feet, and still had enough force to come back at me, covering the back of my shirt with droplets of liquid shit. All while thick shit was spread all over my ass in a ring curiously in the shape of a toilet seat. And there was no fucking toilet paper.
What could I do but laugh. I must have sounded like a complete maniac to the guy who then wandered into the bathroom. He actually asked if I was OK since I was laughing so hard I must have sounded like I was crying hysterically. I calmed down just enough to ask him if he would get the manager. And told him to have the manager bring some toilet paper. When the manager walked in, he brought the toilet paper with him, but in no way was prepared for what happened next. I simply told him that there was no way I was going to explain what was happening in the stall, but that I needed several wet towels and I needed him to go ask my wife to come help me. I told him where we were sitting and he left. At that point, I think he was probably assuming that I had pissed just a bit in my pants or something similarly benign.
About two minutes later, my wife came into the bathroom not knowing what was wrong and with a certain amount of worry in her voice. I explained to her (still laughing and having trouble getting out words) that I had a slight accident and needed her help. Knowing that I had experienced some close calls in the past, she probably assumed that I had laid down a small turd or something and just needed to bring the car around so we could bolt immediately. Until I asked her, I'm sure she had no idea that she was about to go across the street and purchase me new underwear, new socks, new pants, a new shirt, and (by that time due to considerable leakage around the elastic ankles thingies) new sneakers. And she then started to laugh herself since I was still laughing.
She began to ask for an explanation as to what had happened when I promised her that I would tell her later, but that I just needed to handle damage control for the time being. She left.
The manager then came back in with a half dozen wet towels and a few dry ones. I asked him to also bring a mop and bucket upon which he assured me that they would clean up anything that needed to be cleaned. Without giving him specific details, I explained that what was going on in that stall that night was far in excess of what I would expect anyone to deal with, what with most of the folks working at Ryan's making minimum wage of just slightly above.
At that moment, I think it dawned on him exactly the gravity of the situation. Then that manager went so far above the call of duty that I will be eternally grateful for his actions. He hooked up a hose. Fortunately, commercial bathrooms are constructed with tile walls and tile floors and have a drain in the middle of the room in order to make clean up easy. Fortunately, I was in a commercial bathroom. He hooked up the hose to the spigot located under the sink as I began cleaning myself up with the wet towels. Just as I was finishing, my wife got back with the new clothes and passed them into the stall, whereupon I stuffed the previously worn clothing into the plastic bag that came from the store, handing the bag to my wife. I finished cleaning myself off and carefully put on my new clothes, still stuck in the stall since I figured that it would be in bad taste to go out of the stall to get redressed in the event I happened to be standing there naked and some little bastard kid walked in. At that point, I had only made a mess; I had not yet committed a felony and intended to keep it that way.
When I finished getting dressed, I picked up the hose and cleaned up the entire stall, washing down the remains toward the drain in the center of the room. I put down the hose and walked out of the bathroom. I had intended to go to the manager and thank him for all he had done, but when I walked out, three of the management staff were there to greet me with a standing ovation. I started laughing so hard that I thought I was going to throw up again, but managed to scurry out to the car where my wife was now waiting to pick me up by the front door. The upshot of all this is that I strongly recommend eating dinner at Ryan's Steak House. They have, by far, the nicest management staff of any restaurant in which I have eaten.
What a kick ass weekend! Went to the Monster Trucks on Saturday with Dade and Dad, only find my truck had a flat when I got back outside... oh well... On another note the twins are doing much better now than before. It was a pretty laid back kind of weekend!
Have you ever been intimidated by the way people write things on the internet... now you to can write like a wanker.
OMG! Tarantino is coming out with a new flick called Kill Bill and it look bad ass! Just look at the trailer! Lucy Liu and Cameron Diaz fighting with swords and stuff!
LOTR Return of the King will be out in theaters in December... until then some fanatics think that the movie studios are just wrong for using Elvis like that.
master betrayed us! wicked, trixy, false, we ought to ring his filthy little neck, we wants it kill him, kill them, kill them both, then we takes the Precious and we's be the master...
I have the the Precious now... and I now know it's power... i.am.samwise
